I always forget I grew up within the same county lines as the legendary “peerless lady wing-shot” known as Annie Oakley. I have seen her birthplace several times and looked at cases filled with weird stuff she owned, and some of her guns.

I guess this is a much cooler point of reference than "about an hour away from Dayton" when people ask me the question, “So where are you from?”

After everyone talks about what school they went to for undergrad, where they did grad school, who their advisor was (whatever that means), and other boring accomplishment facts, Annie Oakley kind of wins.

She traveled to Europe and shot holes in COINS. She got paid to do this, and donated lots of her earnings to charities for widows and orphans.

Her dad died when she was six or eight,  which made her family pretty fucking poor and she ended up in an orphanage. In her teens she returned home and became the breadwinner. At fifteen she was able to pay off her family’s land ownings with her profits from game hunting. Evidently bullets were expensive, and she was dedicated to making every shot count. So she was basically like Fergueson on Clarissa Explains it All, only she was a hot cowgirl and embroidered her own dresses and wasn’t a smarmy liar.

At the behest of a Cincinnati restaurant owner who bought meat from her, and knew of her sharp-shooting prowess, she entered her first skeet shooting competition against Frank Butler. He laughed when he learned a girl had paid the $50 fee to enter. She ended up kicking his ass. She totally won back her $50 plus a prize of the same amount. Frank Butler THE LOSER, probably still laughing the whole time, married her—years later and all, but come on. That is awesome. 

Annie could shoot a dime tossed in midair at 90 feet, or hit the edge of a playing card, then add five or six more holes as it fluttered to the ground. Even in her sixties, she could still take down a hundred clay pigeons in a row.

Honestly, that is as cool as Kim Deal. And Guided by Voices suck SO BAD.


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